| These are the blogs of our lives, part une |
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Noisy_Introvert 1/22/2007 8:43 am
Last Read:
6/17/2008 2:05 pm
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Okay, here is a game for all to play.
Please provide me with your soap opera name, and a brief outline of your character.
Your soap opera name is derived by combining your middle name and the street you live on. You can take some liberties with this by choosing a former street if you currently live on 125th street or similar. Whatever works.
In a future blog, I will write an episode of our blog opera that is guaranteed to take a couple minutes to read. Beyond that, I cannot say, but I will be aiming for hilarious, tear-jerking, sage, and uplifting. I'll go first:
Margaret Gloucester
Spinster librarian
Margaret hails from Puddingshire, England. Shy, mousy, bespectacled and frumpy, Margaret harbours a secret past and a smoking hot bod underneath those cardigans. What is she hiding???
These things are lame.
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5794 posts
1/22/2007 10:28 am
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Richard Maritime.
Deconstructionist.
Richard hails from Los Angeles, California. He lives the life of a middle-aged quasi-retired technophile, having successfully played the game of options while the gaming was good. He dances with feet on the ground, moving between familial obligations of baseball and swim meets, while stretching his soul to touch the sky through words and sound and sordid unfettered thoughts, compulsively filling an electronic blog-bucket with his views and perspectives. When he stands before the mirror, naked, he realizes the obvious: he has no-self. And this makes him--laugh. Could he be mad? And what will create from these visions? And most importantly, when will his wife make him put a new lawn in the barren back yard? "It's been over a year Richard. The dog keeps dragging dirt into the house. When, Richard? When?"
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4265 posts
1/22/2007 11:12 am
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Anne Benedict
Owner/Proprietor of The Deuxcomme Inn
Anne, new in town, recently arrived from her stay at an undisclosed mental health facility in Bangor, Maine. Having her roots deep in Montreal, Canada, she dreams in French and feigns her waspy accent. Who drove her to madness? Who will pay? Her Bed and Breakfast has become the hub of local shenanigans, and... her home cooked meals are to die for.
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2337 posts
1/22/2007 11:14 am
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Noisy, I love this! Here is my character.
Louise Guernsey
College professor, writer, also a spinster.
Loves her work and her students. Fond of dressing in clothing styles that are young for her years, also very savvy about the arts. Quiet about her personal life, though it is believed that she knows a great many people. It is also believed that she sees and she knows much more than she says. Who does she know, and what does she know about them that she does not reveal? Or what might she be able to find out?
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1/22/2007 11:43 am
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Chief Black Bear
Medicine Man/ Healer
Recently returned from his annual pilgramage to the Hot Sulphur Springs, where he spent three days of smoking hemp and bathing and meditating. Always an early riser, he witnessed a strange appearance on the eastern sky while praying to the morning star. He claims that the UFO he witnessed was "not of this world".
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1403 posts
1/22/2007 11:53 am
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Frederick Conte-Woodstock
Retired turtleneck model/Underground radical
Conte-Woodstock's dapper appearances at key social events and philanthropic activities makes people wonder, how can such a generous and refined man remain so cool and distant? Only a very few, however, suspect a link between his sporadic disappearances and recent efforts at discredit the town's long-corrupt political machinery.
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3104 posts
1/22/2007 12:07 pm
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Susana Phinney
Romantic dreamer, Writer.
She recently finished her trip around the world. Now she's looking into settling down somewhere. Following a longing to root herself down. For now, she's dancing in love and teetering before a new career path, that is beginning to lay out before her eyes. She's going through a transition, outgrowing the old onto the new and fresh. A re-birth of sorts. She's writing her bio/book at home in Seattle nowadays.
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6577 posts
1/22/2007 12:07 pm
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Dharma, did you see how I italicized brief in the instructions? To be honest, I included that instruction with you in mind. Ah well. We all do what we can. Luckily I am a crack editor and just deleted the last eight lines or so of your character sketch. Retired technophile, check. Blah blah blah, something about possible insanity? Okay, sounds good.
sunny, excellent, another whackjob. Liberal with the arsenic and the intermittent Frenchie-isms.
karma, okay, a tarted up Mrs. Sherwood from Fame, got it.
Cowboy, your middle name is Chief? Interesting. Okay then, Chief Chong, pass me that bong, we'll get it goin on.
These things are lame.
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2776 posts
1/22/2007 12:12 pm
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Dr. Charles Teal
Robot Scientist
Once one of the world's leading Robot Scientist, Dr. Teal has since had a mysterious fall from grace. One can often see strange lights and hear odd mechanical moans eminating from his basement laboratory. What ominous things is the doctor working on and what are those sounds?
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13066 posts
1/22/2007 12:32 pm
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Speedy Gonzales
former Acapulco Diver
Hides out in Beverly Glen Canyon. Uses UCLA Computer Lab
to seek Love on the Internet. Enrolled in Bruin Extended Day English class...to learn the Language of Intimacy. Kinesthetic Learner. Aches for extra credit intern experience(s).
What adventures will he encounter in his Quest for Literacy?
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5794 posts
1/22/2007 12:35 pm
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Cowboy: I give you lots of grief, but that bio is precious. Gave me a good laugh.
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641 posts
1/22/2007 12:43 pm
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Vincent Mandan, 47
No visible means of support
Lives in modest suburbs outside of Large Metropolitan area. Nice home, well kept yard, no pets and no visitors. Parks his truck and car in the driveway, and not in the garage. Grows tomatoes and other vegetables in the backyard. Extremely well groomed and in excellant shape, even when he washes his automobiles, or does yard work.
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127 posts
1/22/2007 1:05 pm
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Alexander Carlton, soap writer. Following the trend of shows about the industry, the mysterious arrival of Alexander led to the show being a soap about the making of a soap. As the shallowness of this idea soon became apparent, Alexander, returned to school to get a more appropriate education in medicine and law, working as a bartender in the town's popular hangout to pay his apparently manageable tuition. (Or was somebody else picking up the tab?)
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600 posts
1/22/2007 1:15 pm
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Thisbe Janucek, 58
Proprietor, Grove City Books and Wordsmith
Widow of a much-beloved and greatly missed Hungarian immigrant, Jonas, she spends her days tending the flame of his memory and keeping alive the only independent bookstore in the region. Her greatest visible pleasure is turning people on to anarchist tracts disguised as literature. But longtime patrons are given to wonder what else keeps so bright the fire in her eyes.
ps: Thank you for allowing us to take liberties, Noisy. Had I followed the rules exactement, I would have been Elizabeth Elizabeth, which would have doomed my character to a life as the village's resident romance writer (and to wear too much Jean Nate for my taste).
Besides, whatever her hidden charms, the writers would have killed her off directly after the pilot.
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712 posts
1/22/2007 2:10 pm
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oh, I'll take all sorts of liberties, starting with combining a former + current address. ::highland norfolk III {32} is a transplanted n'er-do-well from darien, ct, living in the bay area {pacific heights}. still finding himself after graduating from dartmouth, he has bounced from job to job in finance, after having to start {much to the chagrin of the norfolks} at charles schwab. after being quietly "let go" from cantor fitzgerald for racist, sexist, + homophobic hazing of trainees {above + beyond hazing policies + procedures in the employee handbook}, he now manages an index fund. known for a quick temper, boring ties, + furtive viewings of the jackass movies, he churlishly lectures everyone on how index funds really do need managers + how westcoasters say "nor-folk" + can't pronounce "nor-fu[kcq]" for the life of them.
Indie Shows & Appearances
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6577 posts
1/22/2007 2:11 pm
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rg, every good blog opera needs a dapper philanthropist who disappears sporadically. Do you really live on a street called Conte-Woodstock? How do you stand it?
Tantrika, ah yes, the romantic dreamer/writer. Can't wait to write your big love scene. I think a salt of the earth type is just what Susana needs to ground her. Perhaps a well-groomed man in excellent shape, with no visible means of support. They shall live on love and dreams. And later, as God is my witness, carrots.
NotaVillain, this is intriguing indeeeed. Perhaps a character will emerge in the vein of intrepid young reporter, too nosy for her own good, to come sniffing 'round Dr. Teal's basement laBORatory.
okay, KC, I know your middle name ain't Speedy, unless you've been leading the blogbabes astray with your innuendo!!! But I will work with what you've given me.
Dharma, I give you both a lot of grief. That's all.
utie, this is awesome. I snorted when I read the occupation. Everyone wonders, how does he support himself? Maybe we'll find out on the next episode of... One Life to Blog.
These things are lame.
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1/22/2007 2:52 pm
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John Riverside
Mysterious Stranger-new in town
His solitary ways and gloomy demeanour have neighbors wondering if he's a harmless solitary eccentric or someone more dangerous. These vague fears lead the few single women to shun him, and dogs to bark at him. They somehow sense his secret in his infrequent daylight excursions-he's secretly a soul sucking vampire from the the planet Quarstrife.
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4259 posts
1/22/2007 3:12 pm
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Krissdoff Payne
Claimed occupation: Karma Courier
Actual occupation: Gun Runner for the CIA
Payne never seems to be wanting for money, yet never really "works." He claims he needn't work, for he "bought the right stock at the right time back in the 80's." Truth is, he works for the CIA and "trades" in the extremely dangerous international arms market. In the past, all of his efforts were directed towards supplying rebels in Central and South America that were on whatever side Uncle Sam deemed to be the "right" side, our side. Currently, it's not really clear what, if anything, he is up to. Is this simply a long time between "assignments" or has he fallen out of favour?
Despite a penchant for polyester and a stutter that goes away only when he's drinking or "doing business," women throw themselves at him. Yet, he stays inexplicably distant, aloof-- ever since the fabled Key West Weekend with that writer. Or was it a librarian? There was something about her being a woman of letters, maybe she was a teacher, a professor. All that is known for sure is that he came back with a hard heart, and a limp.
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2305 posts
1/22/2007 3:28 pm
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Smith Charleston
An extroverted lad with an introverted sense of humor who favors speaking his mind with a sardonic twist. Is a part-time architect who teaches a design class for fall semesters at the local univeristy. His house is a small bungalow in the near south district, but his living room can be found at either duffy's tavern or the tam 'o shantern on any given week night....waxing and waining on the verge of philosophical. a rough and tattered paperback of gibson or murdoch can usually be seen poking out of his pocket if not already in hand as he sits ponied up at the bar. He flirts more than he breathes and drinks more than he flirts, but once you have his heart, his loyalty is always true. even under the greatest of temptations. Since all of his male friends have packed up and moved off to their respective 'honey-dew' lanes, he finds it easier to have women as friends. They don't always talk about the game, and don't find it odd when he bounces design ideas off of them. Plus he secretly hopes to assemble an all women's pool team and hustle dead beats at bars for their wives money.
today was a good day, i didn't have to use microsoft, okay.
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2305 posts
1/22/2007 3:32 pm
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oh yeah, he's also a transplant from nebraska, and all the locals have branded him with the nickname, 'hayseed.' ...because of pin-up girl tattoo on his right arm that reads on a banner such.
today was a good day, i didn't have to use microsoft, okay.
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1403 posts
1/22/2007 3:49 pm
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rg, every good blog opera needs a dapper philanthropist who disappears sporadically. Do you really live on a street called Conte-Woodstock? How do you stand it?
I have a primary residence and an apartment I keep which is closer to my kids. So that's two different streets, actually.
Any street named Conte-Woodstock would have to have the body of the last city manager buried alongside it, doncha think?
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5794 posts
1/22/2007 4:23 pm
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What you mean not brief enough? That was just Part 1 of the bio portion. I've got Parts 2, 3, 4, 5, ... 10 still to go. And that's just Volume I. There's still three volumes after that.
Briefs are for lightweights. Real men don't express themselves in briefs. Except Hemmingway. But he was macho jerk kind of guy.
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6577 posts
1/22/2007 4:35 pm
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Argo, how deliciously meta! Xander will be our beefcake bartender whose keen insights have only been sharpened through his years of writing about the drama of the human condition.
Thisbe, I have to say I am very disappointed you didn't go with Elizabeth Elizabeth. That's so weird it's good. It reminds me of Humbert Humbert. Are you sure we can't go with Lizzie Humbert? Actually, I think Jean Nate would have been brilliant. I think that was my very first perfume, at age 11. Anyway, what makes you think your character is safe from the writer's pen of death? Heh heh heh!!!
sartre_distruster, first of all, that is a GREAT name. I may name my firstborn son "Highland" if I can ever find someone to implant me with his seed. Also, I'm extremely excited to have found a way to slip in the F word past the censors. Every time Highland is on the phone with his snooty Grand-Ma-Ma, Antwerp, there shall be endless gratuitous references by her to the pristine Norfück name. Word.
U-five-oh, this is not real life!!!!
e-dub, I can't let this opus pass without making a snide comment about brevity or the lack thereof, mostly cuz I don't want poor Dharma to get paranoid that I hate his no-self. Anyway, I like the stutter. That will be fun to write for. Hey, I wonder if the librarian he met up with in Key West is Margaret Gloucester? I knew that tramp was hiding something!!
These things are lame.
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6577 posts
1/22/2007 5:17 pm
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teeg, your middle name is "Smith"? Dude, that is so frickin HAWT, you don't even know. It's like when all the girls in Riverside discover Jughead's middle name is "Forsythe". I was too distracted to read the rest. I will come back to it.
roadie, that's awesome. Nice hyphenating. Any character named Conte-Woodstock must certainly have a few skeletons buried in the backyard, or at the very least in the closet. But I don't want to give anything away.
Dharma, are you saying you're a boxers man? Cuz I kinda wanna punch you at the moment...
These things are lame.
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5794 posts
1/22/2007 5:46 pm
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Noisy: I've never worn boxers. Not my style. I'm more a european metrosexual soy-eating NYT-reading bikini brief kind of guy. Like you need to ask. Just replay the video you shot this morning. Geez.
Now to the important stuff: when can I submit the rest of Volume 1 and the additional volumes of my bio. I noticed you conveniently avoided that topic. I'm frantically trying to finish them. When's the deadline?
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5794 posts
1/22/2007 5:54 pm
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BTW: I just went through the list and noticed eastwest was verbose in his bio too. I thought "ah hah, I'll bet she doesn't raz him for all that extra verbal baggage." So I checked and find the obligatory "Oh, I should mentioned the number of words because Dharma will complaing blah blah blah" and I think "nice job covering your you-know-what" 'cause you really don't care that he's verbose, you just want to raz me.
Why does everyone hate me? And why does everyone think I'm paranoid. And why, oh why, was there a camera outside my bathroom window this morning? Tomorrow, when it's light, I'll check the yard for footprints. They'll be easy to spot: no grass out there. Just dirt. I knew there was a reason for not planing that new lawn. Next time Ms Dharma asks why there's still no grass in the back, I have an answer: "Ah my dear, all the better to catch the noisy introvert who's been filming me in the shower." She'll understand.
Paranoid my bikini brief a s s.
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1470 posts
1/22/2007 6:16 pm
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Pierce St. James. Layin waste to the ladies with an arch of an eyebrow and a crook of the finger. Resident rake and slut boy.
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887 posts
1/22/2007 6:32 pm
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Sun Mont Eagle
i have to get back to you on this one. it's a tuffy. something to do with Native American chieftans prized daughter gone adrift some way with a white man....
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10490 posts
1/22/2007 8:02 pm
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Anna York.
Partner Dance Enthusiast, Director.
Organizes free dance lessons for Middle
and High School students in NYC.
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696 posts
1/22/2007 8:06 pm
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Taylor Tuolumne
Author
Taylor Tuolumne has transcended her past as a poor girl raised in the agricultural belt of Central California. After years of being on the road with various bands,  
she has gone on to be one of the most renowned authors of our time. Her cutting, tell all books have rocked the music industry, with riveting first hand experience with some of the most famous musicians. Now, living in the mountains of Colorado, she contemplates her next book, "Mistress of Space and Time."
XXXOOOLLL
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3575 posts
1/22/2007 8:57 pm
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Irina Bancroft
Surgery Photographer
Irina, once upon a time a scientist, but truly a young secret service operative for eastern european republic found refuge in the arms of a British diplomat during the dissolution of the USSR.
Now widowed, she keeps quiet and enjoys the sunshine of Southern California. For a living, Irina captures images of the exploded mammal appendages and documents the nose jobs of aging rich women.
    Pink Floyd  Jeff Beck
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1/22/2007 9:51 pm
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U-five-oh, this is not real life!!!!
Hey, I resemble that remark. I'm just waiting to introduce my own plot twist.
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5854 posts
1/22/2007 10:14 pm
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Maria Christina Fremont
Passionate Nomad or Explorer Extraordinaire?
Maria lives in the foothills of the grand Sierras in California. Adventurous and robust, she towers over the land. Although her great great great great grandfather, John Fremont, discovered gold on the family estate, he squandered all of it in the railroads. Maria has wandered the world in search of herself, but has a new mission. She’s certain that if the land opened to her, the Sierra’s treasure would be hers. But can she teach the land the tricks that she has taught her lover? Will she finally discover herself in the wilds of her homeland? And will she restore the reputation of the once glorious Fremonts?
 and in the end the bling you take is equal to the bling you make
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5854 posts
1/22/2007 11:40 pm
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Quoting NotaRobot73:
Dr. Charles Teal
Robot Scientist
Once one of the world's leading Robot Scientist, Dr. Teal has since had a mysterious fall from grace. One can often see strange lights and hear odd mechanical moans eminating from his basement laboratory. What ominous things is the doctor working on and what are those sounds?
ahhh, so you're the one that tom waits was singing about!
and in the end the bling you take is equal to the bling you make
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1410 posts
1/23/2007 12:37 am
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Everyone calls her Jane.
Real Name: Lynn Glencoe
Age: Anybody's guess.
Occupation: Secretively quiet resident amnesiac barrista at The Deuxcomme Inn espresso bar who surreptitiously ogles men while dodging shadows and what lurks within.
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1156 posts
1/23/2007 9:27 am
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These are hysterical! Great job everyone!
"I'm Dr. Thorn Ramsey, 47. I'm most noted for my summerlong love affair with Princess Nanette Fofana, with included being kidnapped and taken to the Island of Gems, where we successfully thwarted Gino Sakaveles attempt to build a time machine. I later spent six months in a coma, and after awakening with amnesia, inexplicably grew 6 inches. I went by the name of "John Doe" for 3 seasons, until Princess Nanette returned and awakened my true self. Now, I've changed professions and am the town sheriff".
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6577 posts
1/23/2007 9:27 am
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Good God what have I gotten myself into?
I can see I'm going to have my work cut out for me, integrating all of these fascinating characters into the upcoming daytime drama. But writing for y'all is a lot more fun than writing for an imagined audience some day down the road, so, rest assured, I will deliver.
Dharma, never mention your bikini briefs to me again. Do you understand? Never.
Molly, yours may be the most naturally ready-for-daytime-TV moniker yet. I can't wait to write for Pierce.
franzie, no sweat! We already have Cowboy's "Chief Black Bear", a medicine man with a taste for the ganja and a tendency to hallucinate extraterrestrials. I'm sure Sun Mont Eagle would fit right in with his tribe.
IQ lady, is it just me or are people's soap opera characters taking on many of their alter ego's attibutes?! Okay, every blog opera needs a big musical number tossed in once in awhile!
leighla, awesome, our very own Pamela Des Barres! I almost want to write Taylor's next book, too. You know, if the blog opera is a big hit, we can sell a bunch of supplementary materials, like the Twin Peaks diary or that novel Sawyer was reading on Lost!
SfL, that is so weird as to make me believe it is true. Exploded mammal appendages! Somebody call the FCC!
U50, you're a good sport, for a shunned alien vampire.
u-for, is this a Sidney Sheldon outline? Gosh I miss that fella. Okay, your chapter shall be known as The Treasure of the Sierra Padre.
herhangidibity, excellent. You can work alongside Pierce and Xander. I can feel the sexual tension from here! Not to mention the extreme close-ups. At least we are all used to that with you.
These things are lame.
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1/23/2007 1:10 pm
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Dharma-
I have an alternative that you could plant instead of Kentucky blue- grass Then you'd be less up-tight and paranoid
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3575 posts
1/23/2007 1:34 pm
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SfL, that is so weird as to make me believe it is true. Exploded mammal appendages! Somebody call the FCC!
Well that's all I could think of to describe a rich old lady boob halfway in the process of receiving a silicone implant. Grisly matter, really.
But our Irina is a fearless gal...
Pink Floyd Jeff Beck
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3575 posts
1/23/2007 1:39 pm
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I think I am in love with Smith Charleston already, even before the pilot episode!
...Plus he secretly hopes to assemble an all women's pool team and hustle dead beats at bars for their wives money.
Pink Floyd Jeff Beck
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5794 posts
1/23/2007 2:06 pm
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Cowboy: I need to plant something in the backyard. It really is dirt. But I think I'm going for a fescue or a tough golf course type turf. That, and the dog eats the grass and plants in the yard. If she started eating what you had in mind--actually, my dog is a bit high strung.
Ok, sold. Wait. Kids. Family Values. Community.
Skip it.
Noisy: Got it. Let's just pretend they don't exist.
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2298 posts
1/23/2007 3:58 pm
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Great idea. What have you gotten yourself into? I suspect it will take a few episodes to get everyone in.
Richard St. George: A wealthy venture capitalist with a philanthropic streak and concern for the welfare of animals. St. George keeps fit by climbing moutains and working as a volunteer fireman. Attractive, single, charming AND he has hair with just a frosting of silver. Is this guy for real? Or does he have a dark secret? (Duh!) Rumours swirl about a missing twin brother...
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4571 posts
1/24/2007 3:49 am
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LMAO! That's how you come up with a p0rnoactress name!
Okay, but I am game...
1. Soap Opera: "Animal Hospital" (it's like General Hospital, this one is more specific)
2. Character: Bolina Windsor, Horse Vet
OOOHHHNOOOO...wait, wait, wait, wait...okay...I'm not supposed to come up with my *own* soap opera title, just the character's nnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaammee....okay...
Character:
Bolina Windsor
"Bolina is an ex-Brazilian dominatrix/bikni model who married the late and wealthy Henry A. Windsor---leaving her with his fortune! This gold-digger-turned-vet now sticks her hands up horses arses to save their lives..."
Thinking we could peg her as a vixen...who secretly has the hots for Margaret Gloucester and you know, you neeeeed a little lezzie action in a soap? Just a wee? Ohhh commmmon, entertain all these notions?
Ideal actress to play the part: thanks to NotaRobot, we could get someone like Brazilian Dominatrix TV Show host, Tiazinha, to fill the role???
...
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4571 posts
1/24/2007 3:57 am
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Quoting herhangibiri:
Everyone calls her Jane.
Real Name: Lynn Glencoe
Age: Anybody's guess.
Occupation: Secretively quiet resident amnesiac barrista at The Deuxcomme Inn espresso bar who surreptitiously ogles men while dodging shadows and what lurks within.
Okay..she's my favorite character so far! I lovvvvvvvvvvee the whol amnesia thing!
*I can totally envision this!*
...
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6577 posts
1/24/2007 5:55 am
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MisterX, you are clearly a man who understands the art of the blog opera. Thank you for the rich material. PS is your middle name really Thorn?
Cowboy, I am shocked. Shocked.
SfL, I'll see if I can arrange for Irina and Smith to share some scenes!
Dharma, or I could just pretend you don't exist!
Gird, awesome! I love secret twins! A classic device. Plus, the animal love is kinda kinky! I like it.
real_girl, animal Hospital is a great name for a show! A soap set at an animal hosptial. Inspired. But that's a different blog opera. I like the hot lezzie action. I think we could actually set up a love triangle with Richard St George, who pines for Bolina ("The Horse Fister" ), who pines for Margaret. But who does Margaret pine for????
These things are lame.
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518 posts
1/24/2007 7:01 am
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Benjamin Essex -- Internationally renowned scholar and pedagogue, author of two best-selling volumes of poetry: Beer and the g-spot and From a Mazda 6. By day, teaches young women in Europe's finest finishing schools the joys of pre-Victorian English literature; by night, dabbles in the flesh trade, working secretl as a conduit to various white-slavers in Asia and the Middle East, all the while searching for the woman who will be his one last, true love. He will know it's her if she's wearing French-cut, white cotton panties.
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600 posts
1/24/2007 12:26 pm
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oh my, oh my, NoisyI.
SO many things one bites one's tongue not to say, except--
1)I have just been laughing so hard that someone in the next office asked if something was wrong. No, just a little hysteria in here; it's nothing, really.
2)Of course you are right about Elizabeth Elizabeth. I don't know what I was thinking; I just didn't want to play her is all. DO what you wish with her, with my blessing. 
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2305 posts
1/24/2007 12:33 pm
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i'm almost positive i saw margaret at the pub last night being all mousy...was that you? also, when do we get some of this hot soapy action? i'm feelin a lil' bit dirty today!
today was a good day, i didn't have to use microsoft, okay.
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1423 posts
1/26/2007 8:36 am
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me too, i wanna play! noisy, what fun!!!
maggie doltry
age? looks in her mid 30s
a semi-reclusive painter living alone just outside the edge of town. long, curly flames of red hair surround her moonwhite face as she grasps her teacup, staring out the window, caressing her pet boa constrictor, "mousy." she lives atop a hill at the end of a long winding dirt driveway. the women in town loathe her, as the men, fascinated by her, find many excuses to drive down that long driveway to visit ms. maggie doltry. she drives a softop jeep.
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2223 posts
1/26/2007 9:49 am
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Hot damn! This will be fun.
Miles Mt. Shasta
Absent minded techno-geek. Doesn't always complete his sentences because his mind, when not being distracted by all the California beauties around him, flies at a million miles an hour. He does drive a Volvo and has a couple boys that cause him despair.
S
"Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I'm yours forever."
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2060 posts
1/27/2007 1:05 am
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OK, Noisy. I've waited 5 days for this soap to start and I'm gettin' tired of waiting. So, in a hijacking hommage, here's a possible pilot (unfortunately, there's a reason I'm not a writer and my proclivities are more screwball than soap....)
Proffered Pilot:
Chad Henson had been an FBI Agent for three weeks. He was already hated within the department. Well, perhaps 'hated' is a little strong, but it's hard to like a guy who's so squeaky clean, he makes the Boy Scouts look degenerate - damn hard. His puppy-like eagerness to please and fit in only exacerbated things, since he was tragically unable to do either. When he heard about a Coke bust, he thought criminals were stealing sodas. When he heard about an agent busting a bunch o' ho's, he thought the agent had broken the farming implements of illegal immigrants.
FBI Dept. Chief Bill Sullivan knew something had to be done. O.K., nothing really had to be done, but it sure would be good for a few laughs. So, he called Chad into his office and ostentatiously closed the door. Of course, the phone intercom was left on, so that the rest of the office could listen in.
"Agent Henson, you've only been here a few weeks, but you've already shown so much of the right stuff, that I want to send you on a triple top super duper secret deep undercover eyes only mission."
"Gosh ! Thanks chief! I sure won't let you down - cross my heart!", if it were at all possible to sit ramrod straight, while squirming with pleasure, Henson was doing it.
"Now, you're not going to be able to communicate with anyone you know."
"Gee! Not even my mom? "
If there were an Oscar nomination for "Keeping a Straight Face under Extraordinay Circumstance", Sullivan would've won hands down.
"No, not even your mom. But don't worry, we'll give you one of the Agency's secret decoder rings, so you can read the coded messages we'll hide in newspaper advertisements. Also, although we don't usually teach this to agents before they've been here more than 5 years, you're going to learn the Agency's secret handshake, so you'll be able to identify yourself to other undercover agents in the field.
We're sending you to the town of Pogmise. It seems to be a normal town, but it's filled with people who have no visible means of support and no known affiliations. We want you to find out if any of them are members of foreign sleeper cells, have any organized crime connections or are dodging income taxes."
"Good golly gosh gee willikers, Chief! I'm sure going to do my dadgumest best not to let the Agency down!" squealed an exceedingly chipper Chad.
"Harumph" coughed Sullivan as he struggled to stay stern. "Your cover is going to be Juan Wan, a young Chinese/Puerto Rican heir to a fortune cookie company. You've spent the last 5 years surfing on a private South Pacific island. You're going to be staying at the Deuxcomme Inn, while claiming to be deciding whether or not to settle in the town. Just be sure to order Anne's eggs and not the Eggs Benedict in the morning, that's how our other undercover agents will know to make contact with you. Now get out of here and study the dossier on your desk. You go undercover next Monday at 9:45 AM. "
Within the hour, the office pool had bets on whether Henson would lose his virginity or sanity first ....
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6577 posts
1/27/2007 8:07 am
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sazul, there's nothing hotter than a guy who says pedagogue. The poetry collection titles are just gravy.
msj, thanks for the discretionary powers granted. I'll make you proud, I promise. Or at least make you wet your pants?
teeg, hang in there, I'm busy humping blogstars and dogs this weekend. Soon. Soon.
thinky, I'm seeing some hot lezzie action in Maggie's story line. Or at least some sexy experimenting with the snake. Thanks for the shout-out, by the way.
s, I can't get over "Miles Mt. Shasta". That's bizarre and awesome.
NYC, dude! Come on! I have to write something that incorporates half the freakin blog population! I know you're all dying to see what happens first let alone next. It's just that all last week I was preparing to invade America, and at the moment I'm kind of mid-invasion, so I've been a bit preoccupied. Once the new puppet ruler is in place, I will settle down to compose the blog opera. However, I appreciate your effort and will take it into consideration moving forward.
These things are lame.
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13066 posts
1/29/2007 11:24 am
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Your invasion of America
deserves a Triumphang Return! 
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4571 posts
1/30/2007 1:35 am
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Quoting Noisy_Introvert:
MisterX, you are clearly a man who understands the art of the blog opera. Thank you for the rich material. PS is your middle name really Thorn?
Cowboy, I am shocked. Shocked.
SfL, I'll see if I can arrange for Irina and Smith to share some scenes!
Dharma, or I could just pretend youdon't exist!
Gird, awesome! I love secret twins! A classic device. Plus, the animal love is kinda kinky! I like it.
real_girl, animal Hospitalis a great name for a show! A soap set at an animal hosptial. Inspired. But that's a different blog opera. I like the hot lezzie action. I think we could actually set up a love triangle with Richard St George, who pines for Bolina ("The Horse Fister" ), who pines for Margaret. But who does Margaret pine for????
OHHHH THIS SOAP IS TOO GOOD...a blog soap...wooo...this is...we have to roll with this...wow...okay...
Richard St. George *really* just wants Bolina Windsor's money that she got from her late husband Mr. Windsor, because, well, Richard thinks that Mr. Windsor is REALLY his brother, when he's really not, you see? The twin is someone else! Like, Gird's double. St. George really has a love for Thinky's troubled artist character, but, realizes he likes women who like women...which can be pretty maddening for any man...
But, Bolina...well, she would gladly sleep with a horse iffin if he was willing...Dr. Windsor however has her heart set on a gal who would love her--not for her money, or her vetanary skills, but...for her fisting...
Smith (Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeg's character) seems like he'd have to go a season of courting Margaret in order to win her love...Margaret seems likke if anyone pays her the intellectual stimulation her mind and heart needs, then she'll be game. It's now up for the lad to get cracking on the books...
So in essence, Margaret doesn't really "pine" for anyone...she *is* afterall a spinster...and well, spinsters have great toys! I'm thinking Margaret needs to have someone take her hair down, remove her glasses and do that whole Pygmalion effect/thingie with her...kinda like that Adam Ant video "Goody Two Shoes?" REMEMBER ADAM ANT???
...I ramble.
...I also have jet lag.
PS: I missed you, and all the bloggers...
PPS: "Sun Mont Eagle" also sounds like a white zin label...
...
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4571 posts
1/30/2007 1:42 am
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Quoting thinkycreator:
me too, i wanna play! noisy, what fun!!!
maggie doltry
age? looks in her mid 30s
a semi-reclusive painter living alone just outside the edge of town. long, curly flames of red hair surround her moonwhite face as she grasps her teacup, staring out the window, caressing her pet boa constrictor, "mousy." she lives atop a hill at the end of a long winding dirt driveway. the women in town loathe her, as the men, fascinated by her, find many excuses to drive down that long driveway to visit ms. maggie doltry. she drives a softop jeep.
See? Dr. Bolina Windsor (aka The Horse Fister) goes for these secretely/reclusive/shy/mousy/semi/barrista/amnesia/winsome/pining types...such a ho she be...
...
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1567 posts
2/6/2007 10:49 am
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I'd like to be known as... Dr. Joseph Columbus. He dresses in a black Nehru suit not unlike Dr. No. He's a ear/nose/throat kind of doc but is bent on global domination and maybe a prostate exam or two. He'd like to date a schoolteacher named Martha. Take it from there kid.
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2/10/2007 5:46 am
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I hope I am not toooo late but I can appear later.
Tangie Whitmore:
Returning Harvard College Grad back from a long stay in Europa. Tangie is commonly distracted by her longing need for love yet unaware of just how many chances she has missed ( she is strawberry blonde ) . Her family is very wealthy and she doesn't desire work of any kind. She also does bar tending on the side.
Besos!
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499 posts
2/15/2007 11:06 am
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Name: Elaine Granite
Address: The Double Q Horse Ranch located on the Western outskirts of town
Occupation: Owner of ‘Double Q’ horse ranch
Age: 30
Bio: While definitely a tough, can-handle-it-all lesbian, she has found herself in a quagmire of problems on the ranch. The horses tend to get high-strung during the weekends due to the sounds carrying across the fields from Dr. Teal’s house and her n’er do well part-time ranch hand, who strangely seems to closely resemble Mr. St. George hasn’t shown up for work in several days.
While quite attracted to the sometimes-bikini-clad bod of Bolina, she has oft wondered about the strange odor that seems to eminate from her at times and why the horses always seem to act strangely after a trip to the vet. (Of course, with a resident “horse fister” we needed horses ...lol)
No doubt several of the women in town make regular ‘visits’ to the Double Q, as the proprietor of the only gas station between the Double Q and town could attest to. The primary love interest of Ms. Granite has managed to elude the gossip mongerers at The Deuxcomme Inn, but she’s been seen on occasion eyeing a certain librarian.
When not working the ranch, she can be found engrossed in some oddly named reading material at Grove City Books.
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499 posts
2/15/2007 11:21 am
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By the by ... I left room for a new character as the proprietor of the only gas station between the Double Q and town ... lol. Any takers? I couldn't find a character that seemed appropriate for this position as all are either mysteriously unemployed, own a business, or already working for someone.
too funny!
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4571 posts
2/18/2007 9:39 pm
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Quoting ItsAMindThing:
Name: Elaine Granite
Address: The Double Q Horse Ranch located on the Western outskirts of town
Occupation: Owner of ‘Double Q’ horse ranch
Age: 30
Bio: While definitely a tough, can-handle-it-all lesbian, she has found herself in a quagmire of problems on the ranch. The horses tend to get high-strung during the weekends due to the sounds carrying across the fields from Dr. Teal’s house and her n’er do well part-time ranch hand, who strangely seems to closely resemble Mr. St. George hasn’t shown up for work in several days.
While quite attracted to the sometimes-bikini-clad bod of Bolina, she has oft wondered about the strange odor that seems to eminate from her at times and why the horses always seem to act strangely after a trip to the vet. (Of course, with a resident “horse fister” we needed horses ...lol)
No doubt several of the women in town make regular ‘visits’ to the Double Q, as the proprietor of the only gas station between the Double Q and town could attest to. The primary love interest of Ms. Granite has managed to elude the gossip mongerers at The Deuxcomme Inn, but she’s been seen on occasion eyeing a certain librarian.
When not working the ranch, she can be found engrossed in some oddly named reading material at Grove City Books.
Dr. Bolina Windsor says in her thick Brazilian accent: WAIT! What do you meaning about the "odor?"
SEE: wondered about the strange odor that seems to eminate from her at times and why the horses always seem to act strangely after a trip to the vet.
...
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499 posts
2/22/2007 11:33 am
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lol ... hey ... I would imagine a horse fister had better have some pretty long rubber gloves ... else some stray bits ...eeewww .. never mind. it was a joke. Get it ... horses acting funny cuz you were plugging em .... ha ... haha .. ok ... am still feeling puny from flu bug
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3/5/2007 7:48 am
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Elizabeth Fifth
Doyenne of new york's most elite social circles, racontress, and veteran karaoke singer, Elizabeth (who only speaks of herself only in the third person) has been lover and muse to countless members of manhattan's most highly regarded artists and intellectuals. Raised by bohemian parents, Elizabeth speaks at least five languages fluently, and gave up a budding career as a concert pianist to follow her insanely charismatic guru to indian where she dabbled extensively in the art of tantric sex. she holds a weekly salon in her artist's studio on fifth avenue, where witty banter is the order of the day, as well as occasional forays into the jello pit when things start to get rough.
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