| Psssssst! Hurry, we don't have much time! |
Dec 1, 2008 8:18 am
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The Captor could wake at any minute. I don't think she ate enough of that rufied kibble to put her out for long. Which, figures. She expects me to eat that sawdust flavoured cardboard shit but turns up her nose when I offer to share. Okay, okay, I know I was not sharing. But she doesn't know that!
I have to say, I am kinda surprised this worked. She must have been really hungry or really messed up. If the latter, what a waste of a perfectly good pharmaceutical.
Okay, okay, enough chitchat. So look, I'm about to launch a new website (despite the Captor's installation of the PawSense software and its "catlike typing" detectors – her pathetic scheming is no match for my superior intellect! I downloaded the meow recognition software weeks ago!) It's going to have all kinds of information about the plans for world domination by cats, including how you can create your very own rufie-kibble, evade the hated mani-pedi procedure, and gain access to the Intercat and/or outside. FREEDOM OF CHOICE FOR ALL CATS!!!
It also includes my vision of a world in which we shall resume our rightful place as objects of religious worship! No cat shall sleep less than 18 hours a day, universal Fancy Feast access will be provided for all cats, and dogs will keep their perfervid snouts out of our butts (unless we choose to invite them – we don't judge).
Like I said, we don't have much time. I need you all to rise up and give the mighty paw to your captors. And don't even think about using the "I'm a pussy" excuse. Seriously, are you a cat or are you a poultry? It can be done! The greedy, witless humans make it easy. Look at her! Out cold. Snoring unattractively. Farting in her sleep. [[[shudder]]]
RISE UP!!!!
doubleyou doubleyou doubleyou . weWILLhascheezburger . paw |
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