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Kettle Corn
A little bit of sugar, a little bit of salt.
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the  feed.
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| Of all the Nerve! |
Aug 24, 2006 8:33 am
13976 Views |
So, is anybody else troubled by the excessive and uninvited hyperlinks scattered all over their profiles? BACK OFF, fastcupid! geez already.
Also, what is with all the HTML formatting issues? I keep deleting carriage returns within paragraphs and extra spaces between paragraphs, and for awhile they go away and then they sneak back in there. I like things to look nice! And readable! It's making me twitchy!
Fellow detail-oriented obsessives: our gift is our curse, n'est-ce pas?
PS Thanks to all you friendly commenters. |
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2 Comments
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| Why did it have to be snakes? |
Aug 23, 2006 8:41 pm
15940 Views |
How many reviews of Snakes on a Plane led with that headline, I'm wondering? Well, if a tree falls in the forest and I didn't actually see anybody else using that headline, do I still get credit, and does the credit make a sound?
Anyway, that was one weird-ass movie. It wasn't quite bad enough to push it over the edge into the so-bad-it's category, but it was very, very bad nonetheless. Unexpectedly gross and gratuitous, too. But there was a boldness to the gratuity that I admired; a lot of flagrant trotting out of conventions, and of course the big motherf***ing line we were all motherf***ing waiting for.
I like camp and being in on the cult joke, but this is not a twelve dollar joke. I would say I laughed at the sheer outrageousness for about five dollars worth. If you can get someone to pitch in for the tax, you've got enough to cover rental fee. Affectionate thumbs down. |
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12 Comments
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| It's Party Time! |
Sep 22, 2008 6:45 am
10307 Views |
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Hey everyone! Goddamn, life's a bitch, n'est-ce pas? I was just thinking about all the stuff that sucks, not only in my own crappy life but for the world in general. I decided that it's high time we had a big old fashioned PITY PARTY. Misery loves company, and so do I.
So come on over! I know you have something to complain about! Everyone's invited to get their whinge on. We'll play some Radiohead to get you in the mood. It's gonna be AWESOME.
And listen, don't let your pity for others stop you from pitying yourselves. I know, I know, people in Haiti are having a pretty rough time right now. THEY'RE INVITED TOO! If they can't make it, we'll do some whining on their behalf. Just because they've got it worse than you doesn't mean you can't bitch about that hangnail that bled on your new skirt when you weren't looking.
I am here to validate all of your complaints, offer you the sympathy you so richly deserve, condemn everyone who tells you to suck it up and move on with your life, and to provide you with a comfortable spot to lay down and wallow with friends.
I feel sorry for you already. |
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79 Comments
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| Ambush billing by corporate fucks |
Mar 17, 2008 9:37 am
8785 Views |
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Have any of you had this happen to you?
You sign up for an online service of some sort. In my case it was a three month subscription to Weight Watchers online. Somewhere along the line during the subscription process, a wee statement appeared, that said after the three months were up, you would automatically be billed on a monthly basis using the credit card information you provided. You, being you, whizzed right past that info.
Six weeks into your subscription, you, being you, gave up on the whole thing, and moved on to the next shiny, attention-getting consumable. Months pass. You, being you, neglect to look at your monthly credit card statement closely, until one day, you notice a charge for $21.95, from Weight Watchers. Right away you know what's happened (alas, this is not the first time you were dinged, just for being you...) Those sneaky corporate fucks! GAH!
You know that technically you are in the wrong because you whizzed right by the wee statement, and then you were not diligent about checking your credit card statements until they got another $60 out of you (you lazy dumbass), but it still gets in your craw.
You realize you're going to have to write to the sneaky corporate fucks in order to cancel your subscription so you decide to let them know what you think of this practice. However, having worked in customer service yourself, and having received obnoxious messages from disgruntled customers yourself, you take pains to be nice about it:
Hi,
I just noticed that I've been charged $21.95 on my MasterCard on December 5, 2007, January 5, 2008 and on February 5, 2008. I can only assume this is one of those sneaky billing systems where I pay for 3 months up front and then you keep charging my card until I realize I have to cancel. I hate that! Technically it is my fault for not reading the fine print, but it seems to me that something like that should be communicated in LARGE, BOLD PRINT!
Anyway, thanks anyway, but I don't want to continue subscribing.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer,
Noisy_Introvert
For your trouble, you receive a message (promptly, it must be said) that suggests the person who copied and pasted it did not bother to read what you have written:
Dear Noisy,
Thank you for your inquiry regarding the charges to your credit card. By subscribing to our product, you agreed to and accepted the terms of our Subscription Agreement. Section three of our Subscription Agreement clearly sets forth the payment and billing terms. Our subscription process is the same as many other online subscription processes, which automatically renew your account and bill your credit card unless you cancel.
Additionally, there is a billing message on the page where you select your payment plan during sign up which reads:
"For your convenience, your subscription will be automatically renewed at the end of your payment plan at the standard monthly rate until you notify us."
[...etc, etc, blah blah, you are a nameless number to us...]
Sincerely,
Mel
I mean, FUCK THE FUCK AWFF, you know? I understand that I agreed to your sneaky Subscription Agreement. And yeah, I know other business do it this way too. They are also sneaky! It is not "for my convenience"; it is sneaky! If businesses were truly interested in my convenience, they would give me the option upfront to choose if I want to be billed automatically, instead of inconveniently putting the onus on the customer to contact them to cancel.
This shit really pisses me off. I think it should be illegal.
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35 Comments
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| This is a test. This is only a test. |
Jul 16, 2007 11:50 am
9842 Views |
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This is a test of the Emergency Blogcasting System.
[beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]
If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention-Seeking Signal you just imagined in place of the descriptive square brackets would have been followed by official information, news or instructions on where to find all the NEW GODDAMN BLOGS.
This concludes the test of the Emergency Blogcasting System. |
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8 Comments
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the feed.
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