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Kettle Corn
A little bit of sugar, a little bit of salt.
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the  feed.
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| Untitled |
Mar 21, 2007 8:32 am
16684 Views |
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Another morning spent staring out the window, listening to songs he sent me, dreaming of the time we can be together again. I long for him all the time. There’s never a moment he’s not in my thoughts, whether gently humming in the background or turned up to eleven, blasting everything else out. I resent any interruptions to my thinking about him. My heart feels different in my chest, like it’s undertaken a Grinchian growth spurt. I want to share every part of myself with him, and do. Whenever I tentatively show him another layer, he recognizes it, welcomes it, places it tenderly next to the others, then lays down beside my shivering naked self and pulls the blankets of his loving acceptance over both of us. |
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24 Comments
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| Sign up here for sexy tales of PDA |
Mar 19, 2007 6:35 am
Mood: 58, 21241 Views |
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Guys, the blogs are in DESPERATE NEED of spicing up! Are you with me??? Okay, I'm not normally one of those TMI exhibitionist types, but I will take one for the team and reveal a sexy story, in the hopes y'all will deliver the salacious goods, too.
What's the most public place you got jiggy widdit?
(Doesn't have to be full-on horizontal hula here... any permutation of the nastée can be referenced.)
For me, it would have to be LAX. I had about an hour to kill before my flight and was forlornly making out with the Dirty Dawg as we contemplated our imminent separation. We were kind of in the middle of a heavy traffic area, with security guards nearby and plenty of travellers passing by, so the DD took my hand and headed downstairs. Me, I'm a good girl, so I just assumed we were looking for a cafeteria or some place where we could sit down and hang out for the rest of the time. The DD had other plans.
Downstairs, we found an empty baggage claim area (save for a couple of discreet dudes who were doing some maintenance) and we wandered over to a wall of payphones and proceeded to mackity mack mack mack for around 20 minutes or so. The area slowly started to fill up with passengers, so we reluctantly gave up our spot and went looking for another.
We found a little alcove where we were pretty much out of sight, and resumed the sexy snogging. As if on cue, the airport music channel started playing Kylie Minogue for us. "I just can't get you out of my head... boy your lovin' is all I think about..." It was as though LAX was giving us its blessing. There was really no reason for me not to unzip my jeans at that point. The DD practically crowed with delight. It wasn't long before I was nearly crowing with delight too, if ya get what I'm saying and I hope that you do, cuz like I said, I'm a good girl and I'm not about to give you any more detail than that.
Let's just say I had a wide-open, um, grin on my face when I passed through security...
Okay, SHARE! |
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66 Comments
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| Consumer blog: where do your brand loyalties lie? |
Mar 14, 2007 6:23 am
21751 Views |
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What are the products you won't compromise on, no matter the extra buck or two? What are the products you don't care about where you go for the sale?
Noisy's gotta have it:
- Heinz ketchup
- Diet Coke – god it annoys me when I go home for Christmas to a fridge full of President's Choice. Mom. For god's sake. You've already spent a grand on presents for the grandkids to say nothing of your overgrown-but-still-single daughter. Spring for the extra buck.
- Colgate toothpaste (original) – I've tried others but none taste as good
- Fancy Feast – I've tried others but Lola's having none of it
- Quaker rice cakes – the no-name stuff is shït. Plus, excellent variety in flavours
- Cottonelle teeps – because my asss is worth it
- Kraft salad dressing – I prefer the Sundried Tomato & Basil (Light, natch). (However, technically I think it's incorrect to buy Kraft products, since the parent company, Altria also owns Philip Morris... but that's another blog...)
- Always get Always. Sorry if that's TMI.
- Marcelle Sheer Tint moisturizer (Amber) – with SPF 15. I like the colour.
Noisy saves her centablos
- laundry detergent
- over the counter drugs
- water filter cartidges
- basics - rice, pasta, milk, etc.
- peanut butter
- ice cream
- anti-perspirant
- shampoo, hair goo, etc.
Oh, there are plenty of others. I didn't even get into fast foods or electronics. So what about y'all?
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55 Comments
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| Hangoverblog |
Mar 11, 2007 11:26 am
16646 Views |
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mmppphhhh gggguuuh
drinks consumed last night: 5 tallboy cans of beer; 1 shot jagermeister (gross)
puking instances: 0 (continuing good work)
number of tylenols consumed today: 4, extra strength (so far) -- hang on, make it 6
water: 1.7 litres (not enough)
hours of sleep: 5.5 (fücking time change. stupid americans with the two weeks earlier crap)
hours spent mournfully yearning for bed: 5.5 (fücking part time Sunday job)
regrets: i've had a few |
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20 Comments
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| GAS: whingers and the culture of entitlement |
Mar 9, 2007 6:37 am
Mood: 89, 15195 Views |
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In an effort to diversify my blogger persona portfolio, I have decided to embrace my inner Ranter (alas, fully clothed). Maybe throw in a dash of The Troll (not listed).
I wake up to a local news radio station that provides the headlines of the day (e.g. "Coming up next: is former American Idol contestant Frenchie accusing the show of racism?" ) in overly simplified terms that are easy to grasp through the morning fog of semi-consciousness. They often fluff it up (to soften the impact of the hard-hitting news items one assumes) with informal polls of people on the streets of Toronto.
Any time the price of gas goes up, as it has recently due to a fire at one of the largest refineries in the area, they report the price of gas across the city, and interview poor, disgruntled drivers at the gas pumps. Inevitably, they start polling people on whether the government should step in and subsidize the price of gas. Yes, you read that right. There is actually a lobby out there that thinks precious tax dollars should be used to help deplete fossil fuels, further pollute our air, and contribute to global warming.
Here it is... {rant}
PEOPLE, I AM SO SICK OF THE PRICE OF GAS WHINGERS!!!!!!!
If you ask me, the price of gas should be artificially elevated, with proceeds going towards improving public transit, researching green technologies, adding more bike lanes, promoting environmental awareness, etc, etc, etc.
If the only way to get through to people in this messed up culture is to smack them in the pocketbook, then so be it. People in the west, particularly North America, seem to think it's their god-given right to drive a car. To say nothing of their god-given right to own a great big house that they can only afford if they move to the suburbs and are therefore forced to drive into the city. Why don't you try simplifying your life? Get a smaller place in the city, WALK to work - you'll be amazed how good it feels. Get rid of all that crap that's taking up the extra 2000 square feet you had to have.
I am so tired of the culture of entitlement and the ceaseless bitching about the high cost of maintaining this lifestyle that is totally fücking up the planet.
{/rant}
How'd I do?
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21 Comments
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| Holding out for a hero |
Mar 7, 2007 6:16 am
Mood: 113, 17445 Views |
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A few weeks ago, I was having beers with one of my all time favourite people and closest friends, KMT. KMT has had the great fortune of meeting the love of his life when they were both still in high school - they've been together about 20 years, I believe. He and his wonderful wife LaLa have seen me through some of the worst periods of my life, particularly in the aftermath of a really rough break-up six years ago. KMT and LaLa have been up close witnesses to my depression in the years that followed.
I'll be honest, much of my depression in recent years is wrapped up in loneliness. I know we're supposed to be all self-actualized and be happy and fulfilled as individuals and it's not supposed to matter if we are single or whatever, but personally, that has not been my experience. I realize that all I've ever wanted in my life is to find a deep, meaningful connection with a partner who sees all of me, not just the obvious stuff.
So back to beers with K-Master-T. We were talking about my sad dating life or lack thereof, and KMT sort of haltingly and awkwardly tried to put forth the hypothesis that... well... did you ever think that maybe... for a relationship to work... you have to sometimes, uh, compromise?
I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he trying to say that my standards are too high? That I should settle for less than what I know I need from a partner? That I might be better off being lonely in a relationship, unseen, not fully appreciated or challenged or supported? Because I've been there, done that.
And anyway, I've been single for six years. OF COURSE I've considered that! I second-guess myself all the time. If I knew how to compromise on the hard-to-find ingredients, don't you think that I would?
So what have I been holding out for? What are the needs that have kept me single and searching all this time, that I would rather live with my loneliness than do without?
Here's a few:
- I want someone to see my heart, my capacity for love, and understand that this, not my comedic stylings or smartass retorts, is my greatest strength, my most defining characteristic, and something to be cherished, nurtured, protected, and appreciated.
- Having said that, obviously, he has to get my jokes.
- I really need someone who can make me laugh, too.
- I want someone who desires me, who makes me feel sexy, who looks at me and marvels at my beauty, who can't believe his luck to have found me. He doesn't think I need to lose 15 pounds, either.
- I want to unburden the depths of my self-loathing, and find only acceptance, compassion, and love.
- I need a man of intelligence, someone who will challenge me, introduce me to new ideas and experiences, and appreciate me doing the same for him.
- I really need a guy who speaks my language, informed as it is by popular culture references, sailor-talk, catch-phrases, made-up words, and a pretty decent vocabulary.
- I want a cheerleader, someone who tells me I'm brilliant and I can succeed at anything I want to do, and that he will support me in any and every way necessary to see that I do.
What about you guys? What are you holding out for?
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28 Comments
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| Tips for drunkbloggers |
Mar 5, 2007 8:10 pm
16479 Views |
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Good evening blogstars one and all.
Lately, there has been some concern re: pathetic attempts at drunkblogging. While I admit that the concern is probably fairly concentrated i.e. me, nevertheless (oneword), I am taking it upon myself to conduct a webinar, if you will. here are some ideas;"":
a of all) dont' be overly fücking p0onderous or contemplative. DOWNER. nobody understands or gives a shïyt about that garbage. like, figure out your lame love life crap elsewhere. that's what bartenders and generous tips are for.
b) the odd typo is fine, as long as you're funny,. In fact it may add some cache. é. To your post. Maybe.
It's all about style and flair. Frisson.
c-ish) don't be afraid to use words you don't know exactly what they mean. e.g. frisson.
4th and most important, come closer, closer, closer. okay, are you ready? for EFF'S SAKE BE FUNNY. dotted line relation to numero uno/. unfunny drunkblogs are unlikely to make any sense and basically have no purpose. if they aren't funny, they're just a waste of frickin bandwidth if you ask me.
WHO'S WITH ME??????
K, i'd just like to take a wee time out to shout out to krunky and beseech him to clean up the DDP spill. it's moving beyond weird into ummmmm stalkerish.
Love to you all on this most special of days, Monday,
The Noisemaker
PS Where is the love for the BBO ep 3????? Jesus people, I am here for YOU. Like a busker. I'm not even askign for cash. Just a little crappin recognition, for goddam's sake.
I love you all. |
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29 Comments
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| Bohemian Blog Opera: Episode 3 |
Mar 4, 2007 7:34 pm
15880 Views |
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Previously on Bohemian Blog Opera:
Bohemian Blog Opera: Episode 1
Bohemian Blog Opera: Episode 2
Episode 3:
I see a little silhouetto of a man
Over at Blogburg General Hospital, the cafeteria is buzzing with activity. Earlier in the evening, a John Doe was brought in with severe injuries from a hit and run accident. Apparently the victim was badly burned, rendering him unrecognizable even in this close-knit community.
At one table, the famous surgery photographer, Irina Bancroft, is discussing the case with Dr Joseph Columbus, the ear/nose/throat specialist who’s been brought in for a consult.
IRINA: So, will you be able to identify him? Will you use dental records?
DR. JOE: Dammit Irina, I’m an ear/nose/throat doctor, not a dentist!
IRINA: Of course, Doctor.
As they continue to discuss this grave situation, they are approached by beautiful, strawberry blond heiress Tangie Whitmore, who volunteers at the hospital while actively searching for ever-elusive love.
TANGIE: Hi Dr. Joe! What do you think of my throat?
Tangie leans her face in so that she is mere inches from Dr. Joe, and opens her mouth wide. Irina looks on with disgusted fascination, picks up her camera from the table, and snaps a couple of quick photos.
DR. JOE: Uh, very nice, Ms. Whitmore.
TANGIE: Oh, heez, hah ee Aang-ee.
DR. JOE: I’m sorry?
TANGIE [closing her mouth]: I said, please, call me Tangie!
DR. JOE: Yes, er, Tangie. Well, everything seems to be in good working order, heh heh.
IRINA: He’s the best in the biz.
At a table alone with her nose in a book, the town’s librarian, Margaret Gloucester, is nibbling at a plate of french fries and sipping on a Diet Coke. Looking for a place to sit, Krissdoff Payne, the stuttering polyester stud with a mysterious lack of occupation, spies her empty table and limps over to join her.
KRISSDOFF: D-d-d-do you mind if I j-j-j-j-j-j-j-
MARGARET [looks up sharply, then turns away in horror]: Please, I’m meeting someone!
KRISSDOFF: D-d-d-d-d-d-do we kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-
MARGARET [head down, speaking into her book]: I’ve never seen you before in my life!
KRISSDOFF: Are you sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-
MARGARET: Yes I’m quite sure, now please, if you wouldn’t mind…
Perplexed (he is not used to being turned down by the ladies), Krissdoff stares for a moment at the nervous, dowdy, bespectacled mouse of a woman in front of him, wondering why she seems so familiar. He tugs at his moustache thoughtfully before turning away. Margaret looks up at him longingly, then looks off into space as the hazy lens of memory swims into her field of vision.
Key West, 1983. In a steamy, low-rent hotel room, a young woman with the most fantastic asss in Florida is getting dressed, her wild, untamed curls falling around her face casually.
KRISSDOFF: My g-g-g-g-g-g-god, M-m-m-m-m-m-maggie! You-you-you-you-
MAGGIE [pouring him a stiff drink]: For god’s sake, Krissdoff, have a drink.
KRISSDOFF [downs the drink and shakes it off]: Ah, that's better. Good god, you're beautiful!
MAGGIE: Come off it, Krissdoff, you say that to all the freedom fighters!
KRISSDOFF: Are you kidding? I would say that even if I hadn't just sold you a truckload of guns to fight off the Sandanistas!
MAGGIE [filling Krissdoff's glass and pouring a drink of her own]: To Banana Republic!
KRISSDOFF: To your asss.
MAGGIE [giggling and collapsing into Krissdoff's arms]: To my asss!
Margaret is stirred from her reverie by the arrival of her acquaintance, "Dr." Bolina Windsor, Blogburg's only (and unacredited) veterinarian.
BOLINA: Ola, Marguarita! ¿Cómo estás?
MARGARET: Very well, thank you, Dr. Windsor.
BOLINA [taking a seat across from Margaret]: Call me Bolina.
MARGARET: Yes, well. Bolina. Thank you for meeting me here today.
BOLINA [sizing Margaret up with a delicate leer]: Oh, believe me, senorita, it iss my playzhure. Now. How can I help you?
MARGARET: Well, I realize this will sound very strange indeed, but... I need to, er, retrieve something from... um, my... [glances around furtively and lowers her voice] my horse's bottom. I heard you can help with these sorts of matters.
BOLINA [raises one eyebrow and salaciously licks her lips]: Jou got someteeng stuck up your horse's asss? [nods her head, impressed] Iss always da quiet ones!
***
What has Margaret shoved up her horse's asss? Will Bolina keep her secret? Will she demand hot lesbian sèx in return? Will Krissdoff realize that Margaret is actually Maggie, the hottest asss in Florida? Was Tangie Whitmore dropped on her head at birth? Oh yeah, and what about that John Doe? Will Dr. Joe be able to reconstruct his face? Will Irina take really gross pictures? Tune in for the next episode of... Bohemian Blog Opera!
** For the complete cast of characters, consult These are the blogs of our lives, part une
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18 Comments
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| Let's have a gay old time! |
Mar 3, 2007 9:51 am
Mood: 81, 15748 Views |
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Okay, so, total apologies for tawpic cribbage from Mr X, but once I started thinking about my fave Flintstones moments, I knew this topic needed a noisy blog!
Did y'all spend your lunches as kids watching The Flintstones like I did? God I loved that show. It was the Simpsons of its day, and I would wager there are just as many catch phrases buried in the Noisy Lexicography from Fred and Barney as there are from Homer and Bart.
To name a few:
- "a judo, a chop, chop, chop!"
- "oink, oink, oink!" (remember when Fred joined F.A.?)
- "eyes as black... as fryin pans?"
- "hello, Dum Dum"
- "ack ack a dack; dack dack a ack"
- "pssst! slalom! slalom!"
Remember when Fred and Barney won a boat on a game show, and they couldn't decide what to name it, so they took the first 3 letters of Barney's choice, "Nautical Lady" and the last 3 letters of Fred's choice, "Queen of the Sea" and called the boat Nau-Sea? I mean, that shït is timeless, blogstars! Timeless!
What are you fave Flintstones memories?
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22 Comments
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the feed.
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