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Kettle Corn
A little bit of sugar, a little bit of salt.
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the  feed.
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| The Simple Life: Karma Edition |
May 5, 2007 7:51 am
Mood: 19, 12543 Views |
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Aaaaahhhh, HA HA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days, with no possibility of work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring device. In response to the sentence, her ferocious enabler-I-mean-mother, Kathy Hilton, snarled, "This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."
Indeed, Kathy, indeed. DUI, reckless driving, ignoring court rulings such as mandated alcohol education program and a suspended driver's license, showing up 10 minutes late to yesterday's court date... I mean, come on. What's the big deal here? She is obviously being punished for who she is, not for what she did.
Which is awesome!
And hey, the Spin Doctor says this is going to put the next Simple Life ratings through the roof (if they take my advice and film it in county lock-up - quick, get Nicole in there for possession or something!), and ironically will make Paris Hilton even more rich and famous than she already is. So, everybody wins.
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8 Comments
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| Happy drunkblog to you, NotaRobot |
May 2, 2007 7:51 pm
13829 Views |
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<---- my blog is on fire
So this mornign the Botdude called me from good old lester beeee pearson airport to say he was a tool and he missed his flight. i'd link to his blog explaining the sitch excep t a) it's kinda dull (sorry botty) and b) i don't remember how right now.
anyhooodle, our boy the Bot Who Claims Not to Be One But Then Sometimes Claims To Be One said his dearest birthday wish was a drunkblog from yours truly. he even said a pretend drunkblog would suffice. but COME ON. WQOULD I PRETEND???? FUCK, no. I was having drinks tonight with my girl, the Treenstar, in which I dished about the WALL TO WALLL TO WALL ACKSEEON -- i'm sorry, but it's a FACT - and it was cheap beers night. i could have stopped at 3. hell, i could have stopped at 4. BUT IT'S NOTA!!!!! FOR NOTA, I HAD A FIFTH. yes, friends, i had 5 beers tonight, and now i 'm eating Laura Secord ice crema and Magic Shell as a result. I have lost all sense of restraint, if restraint is in fact a sense.
but i sense the point is gently escaping here. which is to say, Nota. One of the greatest friends ever. Calls me when he is at his boringasss job to say, hey, Noisy, I think you're terrific. Ok, he doesn't say that in so many words, butyo u can tell he thinks so. this is my hope anyway.
some words to descrbie the BOT:
loyal
true
mechanical
hot
ridiculous
hard-working
ambitious
funny
stupid
cute
canadian
deep-voiced
the best
retarded
awesome
et cetera
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOTTACUS MAXIMUS!!!! I love you. Hearts!!! |
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9 Comments
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| The Spin Doctor is IN. |
May 2, 2007 7:55 am
14486 Views |
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Do you need an attitude adjustment? Does it feel like the world is your raincloud? Like life sees you coming and starts snickering at all the miserable luck it has planned for you? Do your friends call you Debbie Downer behind your back, or worse, to your face?
The Spin Doctor is here to help! Climb up on this comfy couch and tell Dr. Noisy all about it. I can help you see it from another, brighter perspective.
So toss a nickel in the can and spill your whiny guts. I'm here to help. |
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21 Comments
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| Cancel all plans! |
May 1, 2007 8:17 am
Mood: 80, 13534 Views |
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At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year, the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07.
This will never happen again.
This seems ominous. Either that, or like, some sort of super-ultra retrograde for Mercury or whatever. Either we will all be blown up, or maybe this is the time to light a candle and formally compile that Universe Wish List you've been musing about for the last few years:
- Find me a mate (k, already got this one - thinking of you poor schleps)
- Can I win the lottery?
- Cancel global warming
- Cure for cancer, svp
- World peace, obv
(in this order)
What do you think? Are we gonna fry or frolic???
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16 Comments
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| Live in Toronto: Jann Arden at Massey Hall |
Apr 27, 2007 9:20 pm
11086 Views |
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This woman is a national treasure.
So, I'm not even a huge fan of Jann Arden - I have one of her CDs, and I have a casual appreciation for her music - it's not really the type of stuff I listen to endlessly or anything, but she is a great songwriter, no question. Also, if you've ever seen her on a talk show, she's frickin hilarious, with a rapier fast wit and charming self-deprecation.
A few years ago I put her song "Good Mother" on a mixed CD for my mom. If you've never heard this song, it's enough to make you cry. At least, it was enough to make my mom cry. CMAT absolutely loves Jann Arden, and was mentioning a few months back in an email to me that she'd picked up the latest CD, "Uncover Me". It's a collection of covers of songs from the 60s and 70s that Jann grew up listening to. She freely admitted to us tonight that these songs did not need to be recorded again, but she figured what the hell.
So when I heard she was touring this spring, I proposed a date with CMAT, who eagerly agreed. I used my special ticket connection to snag us 8th row centre seats, sweeeeet. The opening band, Shedaisy, was a trio of sisters from Nashville, who performed a very pleasant set of sweet country pop.
Jann Arden was in fine voice, and she brought the fun like no other performer I've seen. Holy crap she was funny. Someone in the audience had a sign that said they wanted to take her bowling, which amused her, and then someone else shouted out they wanted to go rollerskating with her. She quipped, "oooh, all these physical activities sound like so much fun, but... I'm on my period".
She performed for almost two hours, singing a wide range of old and new songs. She was incredibly gracious with her band - at one point she announced that they were going to do a bunch of old songs while she introduced us to each of them. So for each song, she'd begin by having a particular musician playing some intro music while she chatted about them. The keyboard player quietly played some background/intro chords and melodies while she told us all about him - where he was from, what his interests were, how long they'd been playing together, stuff like that. Then she just started singing the opening lines of "Could I Be Your Girl" and the rest of the band joined in. It was funny and sweet and generous and said a lot about her as a performer. She did that for every band member, using songs like "Insensitive" (total crowd pleaser) and "The Sound Of" (a personal fave).
Later in the evening, a stagehand brought out some chairs and a table adorned with a candle and she joked that she was going to do some fortune telling. Instead, she got the sisters from Shedaisy to come out on stage (this was their last night on the tour), and she said she was going to "practice interview" them. She said she was thinking about throwing her hat in the ring for the gig on The View. This received a lengthy and lusty applause from the audience. Seriously dudes, she'd be perfect for it. She started the interview by asking the sister who'd recently given birth to twins, "So how is your crotch?" and it went from there.
She performed 4 songs off the cover record: "California Dreamin'", "You're So Vain", "At Seventeen" and "Peace Time". Other songs from her catalogue included "I'm Not Your Lover", "Wishing That", "Will You Remember Me?" and "Heart on a String". She ended the set with "Good Mother", which was so incredibly poignant for me, sitting next to my own. I grabbed CMAT's hand for the song, and sung along
I have
a good mother
and her voice is what keeps me here
heart in hand
feet on ground
facing forward
"be yourself"
I've never wanted anything...
When the song ended the audience jumped to their feet and my mom and I had a warm, wonderful hug before joining the demand for an encore.
The encore was great - it started off with the band performing (the guitarist sang) the Psychedelic Furs' "Heaven" while Jann created a very quick, impressionistic painting of an angel, to be auctioned off after the show with proceeds to World Vision. She included a plea to everyone to sponsor a child, which I thought was terrific, and in keeping with the tone of the night, and the family values that shine through the crisp, dark wit.
Totally love this woman. If you ever get the chance, go see her perform, even if you're not a big fan of her music. I guarantee you will be entertained and moved.
CMAT's concert rating: A++ |
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8 Comments
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| return of the drunkblog: whore edition |
Apr 23, 2007 8:55 pm
15516 Views |
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shoutouts: qat, fellow whores (u know who u r), pants, bot
hiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
its' been awhile, n'estles pas? yes, i am perchance a might drunky. so fucking what, you never imbibbbbbed? yeah i know just one 'b' whatevfer that's how i roll, dawgs
yeah, so this hole 22 step program re: need for attention==== fuck that shit dudes. embrace yourselves. this is my true self. i want you all, i need you all, come to me now. tis better to know thyself than to one's one self be true-n. YEAH!
mleh.
so. what are you wearing? i'm in a tank, no bra, and thong style undies. i took off the boulder holder as soon as i got home. damn straights. sisters, can i get a witness? anyways, whatevs. i'm sure some of y9ou skeevy fuckers i.e. that fuckin logan's run fuck are all atwitter but whatevs man, this is how i roll. how i is is how you live. put THAT in your whiteyOC pipe and smoke it.
loooooooooooooooooove to you all (most)... SOME OF you just pretend. no emphasis intended on the some of bit -- all caps got the best of me, jst like the eagles got the best of my love.
mmmmmkrunky
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
b sure to post lots of noise affimring comments, bitches~!
ps to newbie aerick this is how the drunkblog is DONE, yo
ETA: size 2 on curses |
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24 Comments
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| Hi, I'm Noisy, and I'm an attention whore |
Apr 22, 2007 7:11 pm
20129 Views |
"Hi, Noisy!"
Um, hi. I guess I haven't been doing so good. It's been about 9 and a half hours since my last blog. I thought I was getting better, but I had a lapse. Every time I logged in, I'd look at my number of comments, and they never changed. It was freaking me out. I couldn't take it anymore. I thought, at least if I posted about Earth Day, maybe that wouldn't seem so bad, but the truth is, I just really, really, really need to know that you guys like me! I swear, I was about thisclose to composing a farewell blog, just to see if anyone would try to stop me! I almost asked my boyfriend to email those digital photos I let him take of me in my underwear. I thought, maybe if I posted some of those pictures... That's when I realized that I was powerless over my need for attention. My life had become unmanageable.
The absolute best was when a group of friends staged an intervention because they were worried about how much time I was spending blogging. I felt so special! But then they started pointing out how I was showing up late to work every day while I awaited poll results on what to wear.
I agreed to seek help, so that's what brought me out to Attention Whores Ubiquitous. I guess the next thing I have to do is find some sort of higher power to restore me to my sanity. Does anybody have any suggestions for higher powers? What kind do you think I should use?
Thanks for being there for me, everybody. If it's not too much to ask, I'd really appreciate it if you could give me your support. I don't think it's considered enabling if you're just commenting to say "Go, Noisy" or "you can do it". I'll ask my sponsor. |
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44 Comments
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| Have you hugged your planet today? |
Apr 22, 2007 9:49 am
12656 Views |
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Happy Earth Day, blogstars!
I hope y'all find a way to celebrate today, even if it's just a few moments of quiet reflection to appreciate the atmosphere, the air you breathe, colours, sunshine, rain, water, creatures... hell, even humanity.
If you want to do something a little more pro-active, here are some ideas:
- Grab a plastic bag and some gloves and spend 20 minutes beautifying your neighbourhood by picking up garbage. If you really want to get hardcore, carry a separate bag for recyclables!
- Keep an eye out for litterbugs. If you see somebody litter, pick up their litter, tap them on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me sir/ma'am, I think you dropped this" ("you effing dillhole" is implied)
- Put an empty soda bottle in your toilet to reduce the amount of water used for each flush. Fill it with water or a bit of sand to anchor it.
- Re-outfit your household with energy-efficient lightbulbs.
- Make a donation to a charity that champions the environment. It's tax deductible!
- Get involved as a volunteer for a charity that champions the environment - who knows, maybe you'll meet a really hot, righteous, granola-eating date.
- Plant something.
Props to Google for today's coolio logo.
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22 Comments
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To link to this blog from blog posts/comments, use [blog Noisy_Introvert], from anywhere else use http://personals.girlfriendsmag.com/blog/Noisy_Introvert, and to read it remotely use the feed.
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