| Bohemian Blog Opera: Episode 1 |
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Noisy_Introvert 2/4/2007 7:29 pm
Last Read:
6/17/2008 2:06 pm
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Episode 1:
Mama, just killed a man
It's a quiet night at the Duexcomme Inn, in the sleepy small town of Blogburg. Behind the bar, the rakishly handsome Pierce St. James pours a draft while the sweet if confused waitress Jane awaits.
PIERCE: How's that amnesia thing working out for you, Jane?
JANE: I don't know.
At a table by the corner, the Blogburg Babes Book Brigade, a group of women writers, are having an animated conversation regarding their prolonged and lamented singleton status. Susana Phinney stares dreamily into an unseen future, most likely reliving the ending of one of her romance novels. Louise Guernsey, dressed in a postage stamp skirt, with a boob-jacket/shrug and a J-Lo hat, is borrowing from her lecture notes regarding post-modern dating rituals for feminists. Meanwhile, Taylor Tuolomne is busy trying to catch the eye of Pierce at the bar. She tugs a little bit at her blouse, exposing a fabulous set of knockers.
LOUISE: The thing is, in a town like Blogburg, we women have to respect each other. With the scarcity of men, it's inevitable we'll be put in a position of having to fight one another for the chance to procreate.
SUSANA: I just don't believe that, Louise. There's someone for everyone. You just have to have faith that you will find your soulmate.
TAYLOR: Pierce St. James has got some soul I'd like to mate with!
LOUISE [rolls her eyes]: The town man-tramp? Do you know how many women he's been with?
TAYLOR: I like an experienced man!
SUSANA: Oh Taylor!
Meanwhile, a "friendly" game of darts ensues between Dr. Thorn Ramsey, the sheriff of Blogburg, and Dr. Charles Teal, a formerly world-renowned robot scientist. The two doctors eye each other warily.
CHARLES: Tell me, Doctor, how is Princess Nanette?
THORN [looking troubled]: She's... fine, Doctor. Just fine. What about you? Are you seeing anyone these days?
CHARLES [looking troubled]: No.
THORN: I'm sorry to hear that.
CHARLES: There was someone for awhile... but she couldn't accept my devotion to my work.
THORN [raises eyebrow]: Your... work?
CHARLES [looks away]: Yes... my... work.
Over at the bar, Highland Norfolk III is having an agitated cell phone conversation. He nods at Pierce, who pours him a shot of whiskey, which Highland throws back without so much as a wince.
HIGHLAND: Look, do you know who I am? This is Highland Norfück! What? Yes, that's right. Norfück. N-O-R-F-O-L-K. [Sighs noisily.] Yes, I'll hold. [To Pierce] What are you waiting for, a marriage proposal? [Pierce smirks and saunters over with the whiskey bottle.] Hello? Yes, that's right. Highland Norfück. The third. NORFÜCK! NORFÜCK! What is so goddam funny?!
Suddenly, there is a commotion at the door. John Riverside rushes in, wild-eyed and dishevelled. He wipes self-consciously at his mouth, leaving his sleeve stained reddish brown.
The BBBB look up from their conversation hopefully, intrigued by the arrival of this mysterious stranger.
TAYLOR: Oh, him.
SUSANA: There's something not right about that man.
LOUISE: Rumour has it he's dangerous!
TAYLOR: Whatever. Hey, Pierce, can we get another round, sugar?
John makes a beeline for Dr. Thorn Ramsey, almost walking into the path of Dr. Charles Teal's dart.
JOHN: Dr. Ramsey, you've got to help me!
THORN: I'm sorry, do I know you?
JOHN: Excuse me, Doctor... er, Sheriff... Dr. Sheriff... My name is John Riverside. I'm new in town. I realize I'm a bit solitary and eccentric, but I assure you I'm not dangerous.
CHARLES and THORN exchange confused looks.
THORN: Okaaaaay. What can I do for you, John?
JOHN: I think I just killed a man!
***
Will Jane regain her memory? Will Pierce and Taylor get it on? Will the BBBB spinsters find love before their biological clocks blow up? What kind of work is Dr. Charles Teal up to? How do you pronounce Norfolk? And who did John kill? Tune in for the next episode of... Bohemian Blog Opera!
Bohemian Blog Opera: Episode 2
** For the complete cast of characters, consult These are the blogs of our lives, part une
These things are lame.
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3676 posts
2/4/2007 8:20 pm
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Mamma Mia!
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712 posts
2/4/2007 8:24 pm
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my medication doesn't allow me to laugh this hard after 8PM. your max fischer is showing. ::rumour {is blogburg north of the 49th. parallel?} has it that dr. charles teal MAY be dabbling in fusing technologies between real dolls + the big cyber D. also, watch out for that cagey norfück bastard. the SEC + maybe the autorité des marchés financiers are wise to him.
Indie Shows & Appearances
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3104 posts
2/4/2007 9:41 pm
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Awesome! Now I can't wait for the next episode!!! It's much better than these soap operas on the TV. These are the blogs of our lives indeed! 
Great job, girl! Keep going ...
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696 posts
2/4/2007 10:06 pm
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Geeze, that Taylor Tuolumne is such a Slutty McSkank Ho, isn't she?
Can't wait to see what happens between her and Pierce St. James, but I have a feeling that her escapades will not be limited to just him.
XXXOOOLLL
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5854 posts
2/4/2007 11:30 pm
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honey, bring a beer, the games have begun!!
 and in the end the bling you take is equal to the bling you make
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4259 posts
2/5/2007 5:09 am
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Right off, the exchange between Pierce St. James and Jane, and I'm laughing. Some mornings, that would have zinged right past me, but not this morning!
Saints preserve us. Methinks this is gonna' be one helluva ride.
And the speakers play, "I hate Winnipeg."
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4259 posts
2/5/2007 5:11 am
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Leighla wrote, "Geeze, that Taylor Tuolumne is such a Slutty McSkank Ho, isn't she?"
Maybe so, but WHAT A RACK! ! !
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1156 posts
2/5/2007 6:39 am
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Brava!
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4265 posts
2/5/2007 8:05 am
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Geeze, that Taylor Tuolumne is such a Slutty McSkank Ho, isn't she?
Leighla, you made my day! That sent a mouthful of coffee airborne! Wooooohooo!
Noisy girl...awesome start! Way to cheer me out of my freezing 8 degrees funk!
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2/5/2007 9:30 am
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and the best part is...no commercials!!
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4571 posts
2/5/2007 9:47 am
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I want Pierce to get some action...question: does he run like the real life Molly? Just askin'
PS: WHAT A SCRIPT~!
...
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2776 posts
2/5/2007 12:30 pm
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That Dr. Teal sounds hawt!!!!
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6577 posts
2/5/2007 12:56 pm
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Hey you buncha blog potatoes! Glad you liked the first installment! I had a lot of fun writing it. More to come, to be sure!
It's not to late to sign up - if you want to be included, you can add your soap name and brief bio to the thread linked at the bottom of the blog post above...
These things are lame.
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600 posts
2/5/2007 3:33 pm
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When I read this earlier today, I laughed so hard that I wasn't able to type.
This is just fab, every which way. 
can't wait for more.
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2/5/2007 4:42 pm
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Noisy,
I really want to see the aftermath of when "biological clock's blow up" 
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1567 posts
2/6/2007 10:45 am
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I'd like to be known as... Dr. Motley. He dresses in a black Nehru suit not unlike Dr. No. He's a ear/nose/throat kind of doc but is bent on global domination and maybe a prostate exam or two. He'd like to date a schoolteacher named Martha. Take it from there kid.
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6577 posts
2/6/2007 10:59 am
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I hate to be a stickler for rules and proper formats, but I hate people not following instructions even more!!
Here is the place to sign up: These are the blogs of our lives, part une
"Take it from there kid"
PS Thanks for wanting to play!
These things are lame.
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1567 posts
2/7/2007 9:29 am
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I realized all this after I posted and couldn't seem to delete the original post. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus!
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6577 posts
2/7/2007 11:30 am
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No worries, MC. I always appreciate an opportunity to give a stern talking-to. I got your entry on the other post. Stay tuned!
These things are lame.
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